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You are here: Home / Christian Counseling / How Ungodly Self-Control Fuels Destructive Anger

How Ungodly Self-Control Fuels Destructive Anger

By Phyllis Tarbox

Ungodly Self Control

Do you wake up and feel like you are already behind schedule?

Do you handle interruptions to your plans with grace? Or does frustration lead to an explosion of anger?

Have you made your “To Do List” an idol?

If you suffer from ungodly self-control that is driving you with a performance mindset, you may have opened the door to spirits of anger and rage! 

I hear this all the time from clients; “I am not trying to control anyone, but when others interrupt my schedule I grow impatient and explode!”

A spirit of self-control is just as deadly as control directed toward others and it usually starts early in life.

It can begin with a child striving to win the approval of a parent with good works.

“If I am perfect, I will be loved!”

Unmet needs of approval create low self-worth!

You become a slave driver setting lofty goals for yourself that are impossible to complete!  With the success out of reach, you end your days frustrated and defeated.

Today’s missed goals are added to tomorrow’s long list putting you further behind and losing control.

It’s a set-up by the demonic kingdom to keep you feeling unworthy, insecure and inadequate!

As you repress this self-anger, it will eventually explode upon the innocent.  The straw that breaks the camel’s  back is difficult for onlookers to understand and you can end up looking foolish.

How to Be on the Offense and Not Let Anger Destroy You!

  1. Identify your thoughts that begin with frustration, impatience, discouragement, failure, and disapproval. You will hear the enemy’s agenda for your day as soon as you wake up. If the “To Do List” begins to drive you the minute you open your eyes, surrender your day to God immediately. Allowing Him to take control of your day will lessen the self-condemnation that comes with failing to complete everything.
  2. Admit and confess that there is some exaggeration to your black and white thinking process. You are not  perfect or a failure.  You are the beloved of God.  You do not need to earn God’s approval nor that of others.
  3. Repent and take responsibility for your anger outbursts. You can’t legitimize anger by blaming those around you.  You are responsible for your actions.
  4. Accept and confront anger early. Do not allow it to store up until you blow.
  5. Set proper boundaries with those who continually interrupt your day. People respond with respect if you set these limits in advance and in love.
  6. Discern irrational beliefs that tell you:

“I must do well and win the approval of others for my performance or else I will be viewed as a failure.”

“Others must treat me considerately and kindly and in precisely in the way I want them to treat me.”

“The world and the people in it must arrange their schedules to fit mine perfectly so that my plan remains in place.”

Hopefully, this has shed some light on why ungodly self-control fuels destructive anger.  Light brings revelation and revelation will set your feet on the road to freedom!

If you already know the root of this anger and victory is still far from you, you may need more than counseling. It may be time to seek the help of a competent Christian counselor also trained in deliverance.

Make 2015 your year of breakthrough!

Filed Under: Christian Counseling, Christian Deliverance Ministry Tagged With: anger

 

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